The Free Pass List
I couldn’t leave well enough alone, though, and started developing sub-The Free Pass List lists such as The Latin Celebrity List, The Sugar Daddy Celebrity List, The African-American Celebrity List (Sheemar Moore from “Criminal Minds”, anyone?), The Foreign Celebrity List. You get the idea. Kevin called bull$hit on so many Sub Lists but I thought he was being a spoil sport. I told him he could develop his own sub-lists such as the same age category as Angela Lansbury Celebrity List (you know, the sexy octogenarian celebrities), the Professional Women’s Softball League Celebrity List, the 1990’s Child Star Celebrity List and so forth. I believe in cheating with a celebrity equality. I mean, if I put 60 celebrities on my list, he could have 60 on his. Like a total buzzkill, he insisted on one Celebrity F*ck List for each of us.
A Litigator by training, I pleaded my case that a girl needs variety. How could I survive with just one genre of shoes in my closet? You mean I can only wear boots? How can I play basketball in boots? Or wear boots to run in the surf at the beach? Boots will not look good with my sassy sundress. I don’t want to run into Leo DiCaprio when I’m wearing boots. Not even sexiful thigh high ones. Kevin keeps telling me that Madonna continues to be on His List but I think it’s an unabashed attempt to stay on my good side because Madonna is older than I am.
I love not talking about cancer! Cheating with celebrities is so much more fun. Speaking of needs, my husband has been out of town for three weeks. I have visited every building with an elevator in this town that my self respect will allow, and not so much as a glimpse of Mr. Craig. May need to re-submit sub Free Pass List idea again…
So, who’s on your list?