People Who Need People (and vodka)

Have you ever found yourself totally judging the people around you and then you realize: I am one of these people? I went to the grocery store Thursday night on a “sin run” to get a high calorie sugar-loaded salt-laden snack, and liquor. You know, a late night grocery run. It was just that night that everything sounded like a good idea. Stop judging me. Thursday is totally a legitimate drinking day. Who makes liquor runs half way into the evening? Deranged people. People like me.
Do you know what kind of people you run into at the grocery store at 10:00 p.m.? Stoned people who have the munchies. College students starting their evening with a 24 pack of Keystone Light. Vapid twenty-somethings buying wine coolers. I didn’t know they still made those. Weird old dudes buying 25 singles of Gatorade because the store is running a special that ends at midnight. Store clerks who don’t want to be at work who curse under their breath because you picked up the only item in the store without a sku number. And apparently, Mothers who want an adult beverage before they go to sleep.I swear, everyone in line, everyone, had a bag of chips in their shopping basket. I was no exception. (I could hardly JUST buy a bottle of liquor. That would look creepy). Also, no one was shopping with a rolling cart. It was the unspoken rule. If you are desperate enough to be at the grocery store at night, and you aren’t a shift worker who works strange hours or pregnant, somehow they let you know that it’s basket country in the snack aisle after 9:00 p.m. We were all wandering around with baskets or trying to carry the few items we came in for in our arms like macho waiters with a big tray of food.

Bad Grocery Store Music

Grocery stores also torture you with piped-in pop beats to supposedly enhance your shopping experience. I’m not looking for an experience at ten at night. I’m looking for vodka and fudge stripes. Do the songs that get stuck in your head say anything about your character, or lack thereof? Cuz I can’t get this damn song out of my head: Hey, I just met you…and this is crazy.