People Who Suck Really Suck

It’s not nice to talk about people sucking, but I have to vent or I’ll explode. I am on a professional committee with a woman who we shall call “Lola”, mainly because that’s her name, but she’s driving me crazy with her suckness!

I’ve known two other Lola’s in my life and Sucky Lola is the worst Lola I’ve ever encountered. The first Lola I ever knew was Lola Rhodes. Geronimo Road Elementary School Lola was a physically-imposing, muscular and mature girl in 4th grade when I was in 3rd grade. She was at least a foot taller than me and she wore a bra because she needed to. Her family lived in the officer’s quarters next door to my family when I lived in Fort Sill, Oklahoma. Lola had the filthiest room I’d ever seen and their family had HAMSTERS and GERBILS. Lots of them, and they escaped all the time. No doubt in search of the weeks-old PB&J’s that Lola crammed under her twin white four-poster bed. Her bedroom was strewn with dirty clothes and mauled toys. My mother had white carpets and a dainty constitution so we never had any pets, especially never any hamsters or gerbils. I liked 4th Grade Lola because she was a hell-raiser, though I liked her less when she gave me the whoopee cushion of all tittie twisters one day as I exited the
school bus. She was in the first seat in perfect position to wrench my scrawny skin into an unbelievably painful pucker. Despite her occasional exuberance, our friendship endured for two years until the Army transferred her Lt. Colonel father.
The next Lola in my life, Craig Junior High School Lola, was Lola from 7th grade whose parents were d-i-v-o-r-c-e-d and lived off-post in Indianapolis when we lived in Ft. Benjamin Harrison. My mother referred to these unfortunate families as “broken” and assumed when I hung out over there that Lola and I would be completely unsupervised because no doubt her divorced mother was having horny “gentlemen” over left and right. Despite being the one from the “proper” family, I was generally the one instigating rebellion and getting away with it without notice. I always think of 7th Grade Lola as looking like a mousy brown Tanya Tucker and I want to sing John Denver songs when she pops into my head. I don’t know if 7th Grade Lola actually wore brown suede fringe jackets or that’s just the way my mind captured her for all posterity. She was my friend but then I moved to Oklahoma and there was no more 7th Grade Lola.
This current Lola, the Lola that sucks, doesn’t wear fringe jackets or house gerbils (as far as I can tell) and I really am developing an irrational hatred of her. She has absolutely no sense of humor (that’s a deal killer for me), never smiles, talks ill of people (unlike me j/k) and levels criticism of any topic at hand. I leave every meeting with Sucky Lola and every phone call with a bad taste in my mouth, thinking less and less of her, which I thought was as low as it could get the previous time I talked with her. How do people who suck like Sucky Lola exist and thrive in business? I don’t hate many people (except for my enemies) but for fuck’s sake! Of all the Lola’s in all the gin joints in all the world I could be dealing with on what is supposed to be a very pleasant professional committee experience, I have to get stuck with Sucky Lola.
people who suck