Here are the lamest reasons for leaving your job
10. Wanted to stay home so I could wash my tea cup daily in the dishwasher instead of accumulating those yucky stains that hand-washing at the office sink doesn’t touch.
9. Finally succumbed to guilt from stealing post-it notes and random pens from the office for use at home.
8. Exhausted permutations of favorite password and lacked inspiration to think of new ones I could actually remember.
7. Heard the economy is really picking up and felt like rolling the dice. I mean, how bad could it be?
6. Anxious to experience first-hand entitlements from the government but didn’t realize the government isn’t working this year. (Fuckers.)
5. Misunderstood what “stacation” meant and demanded a permanent one, effective immediately.
4. As a stress starver, just couldn’t lose those last five pounds any other way.
3. Stress level not high enough for my comfort zone so decided to mix it up a little.
2. Come on, it’s not like I have a mortgage or expenses or people who depend on me for support.
1. Stayed up too late and watched Jerry Maguire two times in a row while intoxicated and was inspired to write a career-ending Mission Statement.