I’m self-absorbed, so it makes perfect sense that I can’t relate to the experience of any other human being unless it touches my life personally. I can totally understand why so many people extoll the virtues of self-absorption. It is just so easy to assume the world revolves around me. I know I’m a grown woman, but my parents did lead me to believe I was special in the universe. Why shouldn’t the world revolve around me? It has to revolve around someone. It might as well be me.
It’s not my fault I embrace self-absorption. I was born with a small mind. If you need to assign blame for my utter contempt of people who aren’t like me, you could always blame my parents. If my parents wanted me to think about the welfare of other people they wouldn’t have given me the superficial desire to acquire status and money and the preference to only hang around people who think exactly like I do and look like me.
In addition to knowing that my needs and desires trump those of everyone around me (a/k/a self-absorption), I knew from an early age that it was much easier to just agree with people. If you agree with dad, you get ice cream! If I just accept the rules foisted on me, then everything in my world makes sense. I don’t have to think about anyone but myself, and that is seriously awesome. It also frees up a lot of my time so I can just think about myself some more.
I prefer to structure my life as a well-worn barc-o-lounger with a built-in ice chest. All I really want out of life is to be comfortable, surrounded by things and people I understand that allow me to remain completely unaware of what is really happening in the world.
It is a comfort to know what the rules are so I don’t have to analyze facts, weigh possibilities and figure out what I feel about different social issues. I believe that I’m forming my own opinions when in reality I’m completely full of shit, which is so liberating! I can pretend not to be afraid of people who challenge me to think differently. Pretending is a form of denial, which I also advocate. Denial allows me to do everything the way I want to do it without any consequence. I can be intolerant of everyone who doesn’t fit with my world view without any guilt because I never question my world view. It is finite and static, predictable and comforting. And, people, I have to say, the water is warm in Denial-ville, so jump right in and join me!
Thinking can be SO taxing! Asking questions is exhausting! Other people have already done the thinking for me. No use reinventing the thought wheel to examine aspects of humanity and “alleged” racism when so many good like-minded men and women before me have already done the heavy lifting. I’m not sure what “alleged” means, but people who want to trivialize whatever word comes after “alleged” use it a lot. “Alleged” rape. “Alleged” genocide. “Alleged” racism. See, I’m already conserving my energy by not questioning whether putting a word in quotes insults others. People are so sensitive these days!
Other fine people already figured out there are differences in how people with certain skin colors think, feel and act. It’s not that I go out of my way to stereotype others based solely on the inherent qualities that make them who they are. It would just be stupid not to. The stereotypes are there to help us so we don’t have to wonder if someone is honest or athletic or whatever. Then I have even more energy to not think. Why bother getting to know someone to see what makes them tick when you can just look at them and tell? If they wear glasses, they are smart. If they have cleavage, they’re slutty. I would never want to put myself in someone else’s shoes, and that’s perfectly okay, because I’m unapologetically self-absorbed.