Have you ever considered who might end up next to you in hell? The Devil has got to know what type of person would make your skin crawl the most and plan a dinner party so that you are seated next to each other.
  • People who got picked first for a sports team in elementary school. Complete. Tools.
  • People whose life problems involve their luxury car being stuck in the repair shop.
  • People who latch onto you and rant about everything they can think of until your ears bleed, not once stopping to ask anything about you.
  • People that marinate in perfume.
  • Relentlessly cheerful people, of which morning people are a subset. Both kinds need to be taken out back and shot.
  • The one with the unfortunate laugh, who thinks everything you say is hilarious.
  • People who hum incessantly and those who gasp at mundane events, like a gust of wind.
  • People you barely know who tell you about their serious life problems in a busy, public place.
  • People going through a divorce, know you are a lawyer, and want to talk to you about the son-of-a-bitch in mind-numbing detail.
  • People who think they are funny, but aren’t remotely.
  • People who tell you their kids don’t watch television but prefer to act out plays with the slow neighbor girl.
  • People who believe that making bad puns is the same as having a sense of humor.
  • People who are so totally perfect that you would love to hate, if only they weren’t so nice to you all the fucking time.
  • Clowns. Or worse, mimes.
  • People who wear their religion on their sleeves but who are completely intolerant, judgmental hypocrites in their everyday world.
  • People who develop a totally new outlook on life every couple of months, and then feel compelled to tell you about it in great detail, marveling at your non-embracement of whatever their outlook du jour happens to be.
  • Passive aggressive people who think they are neither.
  • Fuckers. I hate Fuckers.
next to in hell

Credit: Far Side