Signs of a Good Party
- The first couple to show up we have never met (we heard they were cool so we invited them sight unseen).
- A few guys rip their pearl-snapped shirts open, but button them back before I can get a photo.
- Someone breaks a champagne flute (it’s not a party until there is smashed glass on the floor).
- Some folks leave by taxi (love me some responsible peeps).
- The entire party happens in the kitchen and dining room and no one ever sits down. If one more person entered the kitchen, we would have needed a lubricant.
- No one could hear the awesome play list I made for the party because the party is so loud.
- We clean-up on host gifts of red wine.
- We replenished the big beer cooler four times during the party.
- The parents of children with autism shut the party down. We assume they were afraid to go home.
- New neighbors accept same day invite and stay for hours.
- I rock the shit out of my unicorn necklace.
- The kids who were banished to the third floor complained the adults were too loud. Irony.
- One party-goer has beautiful bright scarlet red hair.
- Someone shows up in an all-leather outfit. (she looked awesome)
Ideas to make the next house party even better:
- Spontaneous break dancing on the kitchen floor.
- Someone brings ecstasy.
- Gooey butter cake. Just sayin’.
- A precious heirloom gets broken but only halts the party for five seconds.
- We get chased by Guido the killer pimp after we drive our dad’s Porsche into a lake.
- Gay friends attend en mass.
- More tats and nipple rings.
- Party crashers. It’s good karma.
- No mention of punching your grandmother in the uterus.
Well, my invite seems to be lost in the mail….
I would have shown my nipple rings if I’d known they would be appreciated. Next time, I suggest establishing expectations in the invitation.
Thanks for the great party anyway!
Sorry we missed what reads like a great time.
Keep us on the list for next time.
But I played the Beastie Boys! Did I lose you with Tom Jones? Not an Earth Wind & Fire fan? What would have been on your playlist?
Oh, we noticed the music mix…..weak