I don’t accept compliments well. I don’t know where accepting compliments graciously comes from. Is that a special gene or something? Honestly, compliments make me cringe. I want to scream something ridiculous in response like, “Well, I may look okay today but you should have seen me an hour ago!” or “You liked the post? You and one other person then.” or maybe just “Go fuck yourself.”
I’m trying to learn to smile instead and say, “T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U”. “Thank you” seems like a much less anti-social and kid-friendly, not to mention rational, way to respond. Note to self: Just say thank you.
I don’t suffer particularly from low self-esteem. I feel pretty good about myself, all things considered. I certainly feel full in all the ways that really count. I appreciate the positives that revolve around the rich relationships in my life as well as some of the “intangibles” I take for granted. Things like health, home ownership, knowing all the words to “Kiss Off”, that my kids aren’t familiar with juvie (yet) and whatnot. I’ve written about this before, but it is just inherently easier to believe the negative things people say about us.
I’m an expert at turning a mundane comment into an insult or second-guessing it. Really? You like my corn soufflé? What about my flan? Why don’t you like the flan? What’s wrong with the flan? I’ve been really trying to stuff those bitchy thoughts where the sun don’t shine, though. Fucking internal monologue interfering with my day!
I have been on the receiving end of a few completely unsolicited compliments lately from random people that I want to adopt as my personalized Stuart Smalley mantras. I could totally rock a v-neck cardigan the color of Easter eggs. I feel creepy sharing the compliments with you because…boastful. Whatever. Shut up, self. Here goes:
“You’re hilarious and incredibly smart.”
“I think the world of you.”
“I believe in you.”
I’m pretty sure none of these reckless compliment givers wanted to have sex with me, sell me life insurance, or convince me to buy their daughter’s stupid school fund-raising popcorn. Simply put, those words made my day. Or my week maybe. The probability that the complimenters meant what they said is high. I’m good enough! The compliments took me by such surprise that I didn’t even think about telling the complimentary people to go fuck themselves in my head. That is progress, people!
So what is stopping you? Go out there and start giving out hasty compliments. Don’t keep all that shit in your head. Let it out! Tell people how you feel about them.
Go ahead. Make my day.