I Want a Doctor’s Note to Get Out of Obligations

Do You Need a Doctor’s Note?

I took my daughter to the Pediatric Dermatologist yesterday. I’ve been in this particular children’s hospital setting dozens of times with my son, but never with my daughter. It’s weird taking the medically-uninitiated child, the “healthy” one, to the doctor. You take for granted what each child’s experience is when you have more than one child. It underscores that as parents we have such widely varying experiences with each of our children while at the same time so many similar moments. Ro and I went through the full new patient forms and in so doing, the receptionist asked me the most magical question:

“Do you need an Excuse?” She asked.

“What?” I said, brilliantly.

“Does your daughter need a doctor’s note, an Excuse, for missing school?” She clarified.

“Um, sure. It would be crazy to pass up a perfectly valid Excuse,” I responded.

Excuses. Excuses.

doctor's note

How awesome would it be if we could get Excuses when we needed them? An adult/parent get-out-of-jail-free-card. “I’m sorry I couldn’t finish that project, boss. Here’s a note from my doctor advising that you can’t hold it against me.” or “What, sweetheart? No, I can’t watch you swim four minutes and stay with you for your eight hour swim meet. Here’s the note from my doctor. It explains everything you need to know.” Then it occurred to me that I’m a doctor. Technically. I could have been writing notes for myself and everyone else this whole time. “Thanks for the invitation to your non-alcoholic bridge party. It sounds really fun but my doctor won’t let me go. I have a note from myself.” “I would love to listen to the trials and tribulations of getting through the TSA check point in Dallas on your way to Spain a few years ago, but my doctor advises against it. I gave myself an Excuse not to have to listen.” Maybe next time.

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