24 Stupid Buzzwords That Need To Burn In Hell (17-24)

Buzzword Hell 1-8                           Buzzword Hell 9-16

Stupid Buzzwords

17. “Epic”

Epic describes something extending beyond the usual or ordinary especially in size or scope. This word should describe things like a bridge being an epic achievement or a tornado of epic proportions, or an epic battle between good and evil. It should never appear in your blog bio or Twitter feed unless you are referring to The Tolkein trilogy.

18. “Win/win”
It’s good for you and it’s good for me. Only it’s probably only good for me, because, come on, who cares about you?
19. “At the end of the day (and its ugly brother, “having said that”)”
Blow-hards, talking heads, pundits and news reporters love this phrase, as do people who generally have a larger salary than you. I think it may be the biggest filler phrase of all time. ATEOTD means, “I acknowledge what you say, but it’s totally crap. What we should do instead is whatever I say after I say “at the end of the day”. Don’t say ATEOTD unless you are sharing literally what you are going to be doing ATEOTD. ATEOTD, I will brush my teeth and go to sleep. Thanks for sharing. Another big problem with this phrase is that the people that say it treat it like nicotine. They don’t just use it once a day. If it’s in their repertoire, they chain smoke it ALL DAY LONG. The other problem is that once you hear someone say ATEOTD, you can’t not notice how many times they say it. It’s the water-board of useless phrases.
20. “In transition”
Translation: change of employment status, as in not getting paid for not working. If you are lucky, it could mean you are on the dole. Having been “in transition” a couple of times in my life, I am guilty of using this phrase. Now I can only think of women “in transition” to becoming a man or vice-versa. When I respond to what I do for a living with “I’m in transition”, I wonder if people think I’m in the middle of a sex change crisis. I also wonder which “transition” carries more of a stigma.

21. “Value-add” 

It just sounds inherently douchey. Is it really that much more trouble to say “value you are giving your customers”? What are you going to do with the extra two seconds you saved yourself?
22. “Low-hanging fruit”
Is it me or do you always think about testicles when someone says this? Why do people above your pay grade throw this phrase around so much? Are they obsessed with testicles too? It’s just a silly phrase, as if we are stupid if we pick the fruit at eye level. It is also always used to humiliate someone. John didn’t make middle management because he didn’t seize the “low- hanging fruit” that was right in front of him. You can double degrade someone if you use quotation fingers when you say it. Maybe I don’t want the low-hanging fruit. Maybe I was just hungry for a banana.
23. “Utilize” 
Executives use this word when they want to sound smart even though there is never an instance in which you couldn’t have just said, “use”. The only reason to use “utilize” is when you want to sound like you have a bigger vocabulary than you actually do.
24. “Really”
I fall on my adverbial sword. I still like using this word, though I know it’s wrong. I know it’s the most overused word ever but it hasn’t risen to the level of hatred I have for ATEOTD. You have to give some props to a word that calls bullshit on everything. Maybe it’s one of those words that has outlived its cuteness on the coasts but is still rockin’ it in the middle of the country?  “You’re still saying that? Really?!
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