Adventures in Downsizing
No one has blown a major gasket yet from our close-quarters living arrangement. Thank God the weather is nice! I shudder to think what we’ll do with cabin fever if really stuck in the cabin. Alas, I have already accepted several truths about having 1435 sq. ft.
In no particular order:
- It’s like Santa Claus is Coming To Town every day of the week.
Mom sees you when you’re sleeping. Dad knows when you’re awake
She knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
O! You better watch out! You better not cry
Better not pout I’m telling you why…
- Apparently, I really, really enjoy being alone a lot of the time.
- Earbuds, and loud music in them, are awesome, and essential.
- Cats are freakin’ neurotic in small spaces.
- It’s like I live in a corporate cube farm. I take private phone calls on the front stoop in front of my house when I don’t want to be overheard or interrupted.
- How cool is it that I can vacuum my house without changing the cord from the central outlet?
- Wow, there are a lot more parenting opportunities when you are all living on top of each other. There is no turning the other cheek, literally and figuratively, when someone, everyone, is within a few feet from you.
- You have to actually talk to people instead of text them from a different floor, because, sadly, there is only one level. I am taking comfort from the fact that there are nine levels of hell, but only one level in my condo.
- When you live across the street from your children’s school and unwittingly venture outside during their recess, you should wear a bra. Just in case they see you. Which happened today. Maybe you should just wear a bra as a preventative measure because no one wants to see that shit. It was all fine and well to blog about boobs when I had lady cancer, but that ship has sailed, my friend.
- Negotiation skills are key: Can you take the kids for 10 minutes so I can be alone?
- I have an excessive number of shoes. Imelda Marcos, I am not, but still. And scarves. I may need to rent a storage pod to house shoes and scarves.