Downsizing Adventures 101
For the last few years, my husband, three children and I have been living in a modest condo during the week and going to our much larger home a few miles away on the weekends. Trust me that this made sense for several reasons. Trust me again when I say that two unemployed adults in the house is two too many unemployed grown-ups under one roof. One unemployed person in the family is one thing, but two is just tacky. I’m not exactly unemployed, as I’ve been pursuing a less traditional career route by choice, but that’s another post for another day. For reasons that are obvious in addition to other reasons, we are trying to rent the larger home while we live full-time in the condo. Thus, we are now in the midst of downsizing adventures.
First of all, those who have have seen better times and who can barely afford the one place where they live, feel free to tell me to fuck off with my two houses. For those who can afford multiple homes in multiple states, you can fuck off too. For those who live in a tourist-attracting city who pay the highest real estate prices per square foot possible, this conundrum no doubt makes no sense. For those who live in a place like Wichita, KS, (i.e. not a tourist destination), I am so sorry. No words. I mean, I thought our politicians were embarrassing. Wow. Yes, I live in St. Louis, but at least we have recognizable celebrities and cutting edge art and theater. Right. Never mind.
Now that we’ve established the ground rules, I’d like to share my insights about downsizing full-time from a 3800 sq. ft. house to a 1435 sq. ft. condo. It is no big deal to live in a tent for a week when you know you have a king sized bed to go home to on the weekend. You can be all Ford Fiesta rental car on business when you drive home from the airport in a Lexus. In the same vein, it is no thing to live in a small space throughout the week when you have storage a go-go mere miles away and ample room to spread out. And don’t forget Cable or scads of room to store copious amounts of Sam’s Club paper product booty. To give added perspective, each member of my five person family had their own bedroom and almost their own bathroom at the big house. It has three floors, plus a 1200 sq. ft. basement. I can access all my holiday decorations without moving anything.
Married Text Fight
I remember the first time my husband and I had a fight via text in that house. I was stewing on the third floor for no doubt some completely legitimate reason and he texted me from the first floor. “Are you coming downstairs?” (married code for “Are you still pissed?”) “No! I’m fine here!” (married code for “Asshole”)
By contrast, the condo has one bathroom and two bedrooms. Hello double bunk bed plus a trundle! We now live full-time in a 5 person dorm room. Youth Hostel to the stars! We can reach the frig by only moving a few feet in every direction! (I’m completely full of shit) Several truths are becoming evident, though, which I would like to share with you as I learn them. Stay tuned!
Makes for a cozy time, doesn’t it? Can’t even find a place to fart in private. Reminds me of where I grew up.