Bullshit Bingo-Family Edition

Are you familiar with the Corporate world’s Bullshit Bingo game? The concept is that you and your co-workers scurry into yet another department meeting. But this time several of you are in possession of a Bullshit Bingo card with maddening over-used phrases like “At the end of the day”, “synergies”, and “think outside the box” on it. You mark off every time some jackass says something on the bingo card. The first one who gets to Bingo simply yells “BINGO!” in the middle of the meeting. Hilarious. I created such a game as a coping mechanism when my family came to visit me last year. We were able to mark the second row down under “I” within an hour of my parents’ visit. Enjoy. I’d love to read your personalized entries.

B	I	N	G	O
Complaint on the back-end when they didn’t take responsibility for any task on the front-end	Interminable couch squatting	Over-hugging to point of recipient’s mental discomfort	Opinionated about topic without corresponding life experience	Complaint about  inept child-rearing that makes you suspect when you are not in the room that you are on the menu
Complaint about ambient temperature	Calling 2nd husband by 1st husband’s name	Complaint about absent family member	Talking about highly successful girlfriend/boyfriend you failed to marry or successful cousin who lives in a bigger house than you do	Judgey comment re: your undone house projects
Becoming immune to feeling food bits are on their face	Walking around with pants unbuttoned after meals	Passive/Aggressive comment	Judgmental comment	Starting a conversation with “Well, what you REALLY ought to do is…”
Acting like of course everyone shares their political opinion Except for idiots	Telling a story in ten minutes when three minutes will suffice	Asking nosy, impossible-to-answer politely Q’s such as “How much did you pay for your house?”	Comment that confirms your suspicion that they fancy themselves a martyr	Exceptionally narrow food preferences that can only be met with full-time chef on staff
Expecting you to call them but never calling you	Comment that sounds like a compliment but really isn’t	Able-bodied but expect to be waited on	Unsolicited advice Double bonus for Depression-era child-rearing tip	Racist comment and subsequent oblivion that comment was racist