Family Fun With Tequila Gun Bottles

Tequila packaged as a shotgun sort of speaks for itself. I’m relieved they included a shot glass, because it seems tacky to swig the tequila straight from the barrel of a glass rifle. There was a twenty-something aged kid eyeballing the display in Sam’s Club when I was snapping photos. He couldn’t wait to buy one. Target audience: NRA members, Outdoors people, Fraternity boys, Firearm enthusiasts, Fans at the premiere of an American Pie movie, Idiots. And really, I needed a new association linking violence to Mexico. Bravo!
I’m sure the arresting officer pulling me over with my tequila muzzle in the car seat next to me would be thoroughly tickled and let me off with a warning.
tequila gun
Or if you prefer to sip your tequila from a machete, like so many of us do, they’ve also got you covered. Apparently, the machete bottle came out some time ago and was such a hit, (pun intended) they added other weapon-themed bottles of alcohol to their arsenal.
My particular Sam’s Club didn’t have the AK-47, which this company also distributes. I bet it’s super cute!
machete tequila
I looked around for a roofies display showcasing bullet-themed rohypnol, but was disappointed not to find any. Make up your mind, Sam’s Club! Are you going to be my one-stop party supply store, or NOT? If I’m going to buy gun aficionado-themed tequila in your store, I shouldn’t have to go elsewhere for my ammo-shaped date-rape drugs. How about selling some throwing stars for the adult goodie bags?
tequila pistol
If large guns make you nervous, they also created a discreet pistol-shaped tequila bottle. For the Ladies. All your shooting needs met, and in the middle of Sam’s Club! How cool is that? I was horrified and amused. Gotta give someone credit for packaging a substance that can kill you inside a vessel that makes you think of killing things.
“How much alcohol did it take to kill him, officer?”
“A machete-full was all it took.”
How ironic to be hit over the head with a fun handgun-shaped tequila bottle?
I suppose I could lighten up and just consider it to be what it is, a marketing tool. Not unlike what some businesses do with Jesus fishes. Whatever gets ‘er sold, I guess.