A Mermaid Tail for Blair

Blair has been savagely begging the last week for her one and only wish she’s ever had in her whole entire life that would make her childhood complete. She is dispirit (sic), I say DISPIRIT to get one!
mermaid tale

How am I going to pull a mermaird (sic) tail out of my arse? I mean a mermaid tail? It’s not like we live near the ocean. Should I break it to her that mermairds die unless in salt water? Will this become the object of our anticipated tumultuous teenage years? “You don’t love me! You never loved me! If you had, you would have gotten me that mermaid tail! It’s all I ever, ever wanted…” Clearly, this mermaid tail is the Red Ryder B.B. Gun of Blair’s childhood. Who are those little judgey asshole fish faces over to the right on Blair’s heart-felt plea? Why do her drawn people never have any hands? Don’t mermairds need oppositional thumbs since they are missing out on the feet and all? I need my second grade to adult dictionary. Bad Mommy!

I may really have to re-think this. I don’t want to be the mommy that didn’t give her despirit daughter the mermaid tail she so obviously deserves.