Some Gun Laws are Moronic

When writing a recent blog post about the bonding effects of firearms at Family Reunions, I read a little about paintball and firing ranges. In so doing, I happened upon some truly moronic gun laws. Did you know in some paint ball parks you must be 10 years old to be issued a paintball gun? Ironically, young teens can shoot a real gun if accompanied by their parent. You only have to be 8 years old in many states to possess a long gun. Kids! Paint can be toxic!

You are not allowed to shoot at animals in the Paint Ball Park. In other words, you can kill a rabbit with a bullet to the heart but can’t be mean to it or embarrass it with paint splatter. Seems totally reasonable.

Many shooting ranges prohibit being on the facility if you are pregnant or believe you may be pregnant. Okay, I sort of get this. Loud noises might damage newly-forming auditory fetus parts. I don’t recall such admonitions about pregnant women refraining from attending loud concerts or fireworks displays. Shouldn’t restricted activities be a discussion between a pregnant woman and her doctor, not her firearms range manager? You have a rule about pregnant ladies but no prohibition for mentally unstable people? Although I agree that a pissed-off knocked-up lady can present special unknown dangers. Let’s not embolden the hormonally-enhanced by letting them use a loaded weapon.

Protect My Boobs But Keep Your Laws Off My Guns!

Many shooting ranges have restrictions on low-cut tops to minimize haphazard flaming-hot bullet casings burning your unprotected man boobs or lady bosoms. I can appreciate stringent rules protecting unsuspecting moobs. Save the Moobs!  You sure as heck-fire better not have any restrictions on how many guns I can conceal and carry. That is going way too far into my 2nd Amendment rights to be as much of a jackass as I am constitutionally protected to be. But by all means, let’s have some rules about my flesh bazookas. And for my own safety, I’m not allowed to wear tank tops, shorts, sandals or high heels. Crap. I’m going to have to re-think my hooker outfit.

Again, I can appreciate a good rule when I see one. I just think it’s funny to have so many rules about what you look like when you shoot guns but be so vehement about no rules regarding guns in the community.

One range prohibits:

  • Extremes in apparel or jewelry, which are distractive, disruptive, disrespectful or unsafe will not be permitted.
  • Clothing or jewelry displaying: drugs, obscenities, lewd or illegal behavior, sexual overtones. etc. or any reference that is disruptive to others.
  • Undergarments worn as outer garments are not permitted, including muscle shirts.
  • Hats, caps, bandanas or other head covering will be removed while in the building, except baseball caps facing forward.
  • Torn or ragged clothing will not be permitted.

I love this one: “You must be 21 years old to shoot a handgun & 18 years old to shoot a long gun unless accompanied by parent or legal guardian at which the age is 12 to shoot either.” Um, I have to be 12 to shoot the parent or legal guardian? Word placement matters, people!