We all react to tragedy in different ways. I must admit, though, that I’m very confused by some of the reactions to the Sandy Hook Tragedy. When it comes to answering questions my children ask, I tend to assume they are ready for the answer I’m giving them. I gush with details until their eyes roll back into their perfectly-stuffed heads. I use vocabulary they don’t understand. I mean, how else are they going to know what “hedonist” means unless they’ve heard it used properly in a sentence? As in, why did you call Uncle Don a “hedonist”? I go places that other parents dare not tread. If my child is old enough to ask what a wet dream is, then I tell them. Hopefully in age-appropriate terminology, but that’s not a given. I’d rather they hear it from me than get misinformation from their peers.
We talked as a family about the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings in Newtown, Connecticut over the weekend. My eight year old son with autism understood that children died, but he didn’t register much else of the conversation. My eleven year old and eight year old daughter understood what we were saying but they didn’t have as many questions as I thought they might. I find that I am the one with all the questions this time.

Questions whose answers make me hang my head in disbelief and say, simply, “Probably because they are enormous assclowns.”

  • Why do some people blame gay people for national tragedies? You guessed it: because they are assclowns.
  • Why do gun owners think their 2nd Amendment right to bear arms includes unfettered access to automatic and semi-automatic guns? No surprise here: only assclowns think that.
  • How could someone say that God let the rampage in Sandy Hook Elementary happen because we don’t have organized public school prayer? Because they are, you know, an assclown.