Up Next: Orthodonture
I broke Rowan out of school this week to take her to her first orthodontist appointment. I can’t think of the orthodontist without thinking about Raising Arizona. Meddling friend Dot to aspiring mother Edwina McDunnough: “He’s gotta have his dip-tet, honey. You started his bank accounts yet?” “Have we done that? We gotta do that! What’s that for, Dot?” “His orthodonture and his university. Use iodine, you might save on orthodonture. Won’t knock a thing off the university. RILEY! You take that diaper off your head! You put it back onto your sister!”
The orthodontist’s office was far from a trailer park in Arizona, however. It was far, far too nice, if you know what I mean. I appreciate a well appointed office with some modern machinery, but this office seemed more like a plastic surgery suite the Housewives of L.A. might frequent. You could completely visualize how many flat screen televisions and original artwork your child’s misaligned teeth and overbite could add to the ambiance of the office.Ro was proudly wearing the first non-regulation pierced earrings since having her ears pierced two months ago (after lamenting for ten minutes, she opted for the red and pink lollypops). The dental assistant commented to Ro how nice the earrings looked on her. We’re starting with a retainer, for which Ro picked out a musical piano key motif to accent the custom-made plastic. So grown up!
Moses: An’ when they was no meat we ate fowl. An’when they was no fowl we ate crawdad. An’ when they was no crawdad to be foun’, we ate San’.
HI: You ate what?
Moses: (nodding): We ate San’.
HI: You ate sand?!
Moses: Dass right . . .
Mordecai! Mind you don’t cut yourself!