White people: 9/11 was done to us. We did 11/9 to ourselves.
My black LGBTQ friends told me Trump voters were out there. They said Trump was coming 11/9 of 2016 but I didn’t believe such horror was possible. I could not accept white supremacy would win. I knew the risks of the first election without Voter Protection in place. Still, I thought patriarchy would finally get its comeuppance. Trump voters were on the fringes. That we’d collectively condemn homophobia and racism as anti-humanitarian, like medicinal leeches. Serious people would talk about how to address poverty instead of new ways to regulate my uterus. I knew such discourse would take a while, but I thought we were on track to embrace humanity. Never have I been so wrong.
Trump voters won american & its soul
I followed the 2016 presidential election obsessively. And finally, the day of reckoning arrived. I find myself ill-equipped to deal with the result. In fact, I’m a hot mess. I mourn the election of a bigoted xenophobic misogynist bully. I’m downright apoplectic the most qualified person in history in the form of Hillary Clinton, lost so decisively. The election of this vile baby-man has brought out the absolute worst in me. I feel petty and dirty. I cannot bring myself to say or write his name as our leader. I’m not a religious person, so I’m not praying for anything to get better. Regardless, I feel no sunshine. Right now, I wallow in freakish misery. I am deeply disturbed and depressed. In a word, I am bereft.
I am also genuinely afraid for my black and brown friends continuing to be targeted, deported and incarcerated. I fear marriage equality will be assaulted, as the Republican party endorsed the most anti-LGBTQ platform in history. I worry about the rights of all women to control our bodies. As a grateful recipient of Obamacare when diagnosed with cancer, I fear not having access to healthcare. I am deeply concerned about freedom of the press.
To my friends who are trump voters:
I do not understand you. Also, I cannot relate to you. You were right that I’m a big goddamn snowflake melting in the glare of Trump’s orange face. I don’t know how long it will take me to get over this betrayal. Unexpectedly, I feel it personally, on a visceral level. Your economic self-interest and fanaticism to maintain the status quo is profoundly hurtful. To say Trump represents a better future for anyone other than Trump is delusional. You have wounded me, my family, my children, my special needs son, my friends, my LGBTQ friends, our nation and our humanity.
You don’t agree with the Democrat’s vision, fine, but what have you done to us? How can you hand over the environment to the man who refuses to listen to science about global warming and vowed to dismantle the E.P.A.? A man so blatantly racist that he continually denounces the Central Park Five when their innocence has been so resoundingly proven? A man who wants to reconstitute “stop-and-frisk”? Your man made fun of physically disabled people to a huge crowd of cheering fans. He jeopardized access to mental health and called soldiers who suffer from PTSD weak.
please stop talking while I collect myself
Soon, I will start making donations to Planned Parenthood. I will pick myself up and dust off my tits, which are apparently ripe for the grabbing. There will come a time when I’ve inhaled enough kitten pictures, listened to a sufficient number of Jon Stewart Daily Show re-runs to soothe me to sleep, committed everything Full Frontal’s Samantha Bee says to memory. I will have listened to enough Beyonce, Nine Inch Nails and Kendrick Lamar to nurture my soul. I’ll have watched a critical mass of Jessica Jones episodes and snorted enough Margaret Cho stand-up shows.
I vary my media, but I vow to watch more Fox News because that is apparently the America in which I clearly live. It’ll be that daily shot that leaves a whelp on my skin, but I need to know what the score is. I will hope he uses his unbridled power for good instead of evil. I will not call him a whore, even if he calls me one. I will try to give him the benefit of any doubt he affords to no one. I will respect the office, but I will never respect him in it. I will try not to cry thinking of Secretary of State Roger Ailes, Attorney General Ann Coulter, Supreme Court Justice Sarah Palin or Secretary of Defense Rush Limbaugh.
A friend aptly said, “After I climb out of this morose stupor, I am ready for the revolution.” True that, mother fuckers.
I think I have stopped crying for now. I will be the first to admit that it really wasn’t that bad, if it turns out that way, but all along my gravest concerns have been with the supreme court and I just can’t envision that going well.
I haven’t cried today but I have hours for that. What do you mean “I will be the first to admit that it really wasn’t that bad”? Thanks for reading. Hope you’re doing okay. Supreme Court is my biggest fear, too. One “party” has control of all three branches of government now. All bets are off.