Accident Prone Mother Impales Self in Head
I thought about putting a band-aid (or, if you are British, a plaster) on my head gash because it was such a toss-up as to whether the band-aid or the whelp with open half inch wound combo would be less distracting. I asked my ten year old daughter if I looked okay after I put on my party dress and make-up (She’s used to seeing me in jeans and scant make-up). She gave me an up-and-down look and said, simply: “What happened to your forehead?” It conjured up memories of when my esteemed hair stylist, Brandie, accidentally dropped a curling iron on my forehead the day before my wedding. She was so mortified she refused to let me pay her, but I thanked her for pre disaster-proofing my wedding. It was too mundane to advise forehead gawkers at the Ball that my vent hood attacked me so my husband and I made up an elaborate story about what happened to my head, which I left un-bandaged. Summed up, I started with: “turbulence”. Doesn’t that make me sound glamorous and important rather than pedestrian and coordination-challenged?
Pondering whether or not I should stop reading your blog at my new office. It’s insanely quiet and all the engineers can hear me laughing out loud. I agree…. this is funny shit.
Have you ever read Jill Shalvis’ blog? Romance author, mother, Channeler of Lucille Ball??
Not only are you funny, but you are popular! Look at those blog views roll sista! Way to go Jen –
I should have thanked the vent hood for giving me a topic of conversation all night. I ran around like a little kid, leading all conversations with, “Yeah, so, about my head…”
I sorry for your pain Jen but this is funny shit.