Actual conversation at the gym this morning:

Friend: “I just met someone who plays in a Roller Derby League.”

Me: “That’s awesome. Does she have a handle? Like, what is her roller derby name? They always have great names like Science Friction or Hydrogen Bombshell.”

Friend: “I didn’t think to ask!”

roller derby

Stranger who overheard Friend and I talking: “My clown handle is Molly McLaffsalot.”

Me: “Really? My porn star handle is Roxanne Avalon. How do you come up with a clown handle?”

Stranger: “You just decide what to call yourself?”

Me: “It’s not like your middle name and then your first pet’s name or anything?”

Stranger: “No. I mean, I’m an actual clown.”

Me: “Oh. An actual clown? Really?”

Stranger: “Yes.”

Awkward silence.

Me: “I’m not actually in porn. I’m not in ‘the industry’, the porn industry”.

Stranger: “I didn’t want to judge.”

Me: “Because if I was in the porn industry, I probably wouldn’t lead first conversations with people with me being in the porn industry. Might be off-putting.”

Another silence.

Me: “But how cool is it you thought I could have been in the porn industry?”

Friend: “So cool!”