AFTERBIRTH: Parenting
Parenting teenagers is exhausting. HostileWit addresses parenting pseudo neuro-typical girls and a son on the autism spectrum with a side of seizure disorder. The children are equal parts maddening and astonishing. Let’s share parenting triumphs and family idiocy together.
Superior Parenting Moments
Superior Parenting Moments Rowan drew this hand-less, leg-less crying girl with hair issues when we were on a trip recently. The FBI is investigating. This was the search on my ipad when I went to safari: “im nakid”. I think perhaps a talk is due to the girls. Devlin tells me seventeen times a day […]
MoreI’m Bleeding Profusely
Hi. I’m Bleeding Profusely and Can’t Make It Stop This is going to be a short blog post because it’s hard to type without the help of my left middle finger. Wow- you just don’t appreciate how much you use body parts until you can’t use them. Turns out the middle finger is more useful […]
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Simplest Toys Are Best
Simplest Toys are Best: Proof We Are All Just Savages I can’t believe it’s been a week since my last blog post. I feel like I’ve been on a desert island for a month! We’ve had company in town. Fourteen folks from three different tribes to be exact. That is in addition to the five […]
MoreI Need More Fun in my Life
I’ve forgotten something really important. I need more fun in my life. I’ve been on a jihad against clutter and disorder. I feel like I can’t function until all my shit is where it is supposed to be. Order calms me and helps me function. I’ve been home with the children for two weeks of […]
MoreConvenience Store Finds
Special Convenience Store Finds I snapped a photo of this gem in a convenience store in southwest Missouri on some of my recent travels. That’s right, it’s an inflatable chair with a built in beer cooler storage area in the seat. Bootie storage. Or a rubber urinal. Hard to say. Both would be so so […]
MoreI Dislike Long Goodbyes
Are there other people like me who dislike long good-byes? Watching my daughter’s Fifth grade Promotion Ceremony today reminded me of how I dislike long goodbyes. A few thoughts about saying farewell. “What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? – […]
MoreThey Are Growing Up
I’m going to have to face a gold truth soon: My children? They are growing up. I’m not sure I’m well for it. I try to make up for not volunteering as much as I’d like for my children’s elementary school activities by volunteering for the end of school Field Day event. They have two […]
MoreWhy Are My Children Calling Me Mom Constantly?
Children Calling Me Mom How was your Memorial holiday weekend? Mine was a mixed bag. Spent some great time with friends, BBQ’ing and out. We tormented our poor waiter by discussing Plushies and ruminating about the perfect Safety Word. The completely cool waiter suggested: Arugula. Kevin watched a lot of war movies. I enjoyed the […]
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Wonderful Pistachios Cyclists Sleeping in my Bed
Let’s Get Crackin’! Wonderful Pistachios Cyclists It’s been a stressful couple of weeks. Lots of company. Activities out the wazoo. Perfect, (I like busy) but also stressful. And then we got a kitten. The kids asked, and I wanted to say Yes for a change. Internet, this is Katniss. Katniss, meet the Internet. How can […]
MoreChildren: Mom is Not Your Servant!
Guess what, kids? Mom is not your servant! I can’t take it anymore! Clean clothes do not belong in the dirty clothes hamper just because it’s easier than putting them on hangers! I’m having nightmares that I’m sinking in a quicksand pit of laundry. Same with the clothes lining the bottom of your closet and […]
MoreParent Coping Skills With No School Days
Parent Coping Skills With No School Days a/k/a Frick! They Are Home With Me AGAIN! Tactic # 1: Invite Their Friends Over Friday was just a weird day. The kids were out of school, again. I think they get a day off for every two they are in school. In a now characteristic masochism, I […]
MoreStupid Rookie Parent Move
I made a totally stupid rookie parent move the other day I picked up the girls from school and took them directly to the gourmet candy store Oh Lolli Lolli. I did this to make amends for stealing their candy earlier in the week. I know, I know. But they taunted me with chocolate covered mini oreos which are […]
MoreTheme for the Day
Do you ever live theme days? Like a certain obscure something is mentioned twice, and you’re like, how can “cherub”come up in completely unrelated conversations three times during one afternoon? Or when you hear “Billy, Don’t Be A Hero” twice within the same twelve hours. Recently, the theme that emerged that day was opossum. The friendly guy in the […]
MoreWhen Kids Use My Stuff
Kids Use My Stuff All the Time! I have come to a depressing truth: Nothing in my house will ever truly be mine ever again. A few months back, my sweet husband bought me an ipad2 for all the trouble I went through to get cancer. Nothing says “welcome to cancer” quite like an Apple product. […]
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