Parenting teenagers is exhausting. HostileWit addresses parenting pseudo neuro-typical girls and a son on the autism spectrum with a side of seizure disorder. The children are equal parts maddening and astonishing. Let’s share parenting triumphs and family idiocy together.
Continued Holiday Season Fun If you missed Holiday Season Fun part 1 and part 2, click the links. 11. Tell your brother and his uptight wife and teenage only child that you are coming to visit with your family of five and don’t give him an end date. He will be grateful to see you and your adorable children under […]
MoreTo catch up, read the first post about making this holiday season fun. Holiday Season Fun continued below: 6. Pay for professional risque family photos to put on your holiday card. Everyone is going to have a pic of their kid in a red and green Christmas sweater or sitting on Santa. Make yours memorable. Make this […]
MoreHoliday Season Fun 1. Give your boss (the one that travels all the time and has allergies) a puppy as a present. Really, just give anyone a puppy for Hanukkah or Christmas. People love gifts with a lifetime of responsibility attached, and it will highlight what good judgment you have. 2. Get totally hammered at […]
MoreSeriously, Procrastination Never Works Please let me learn this lesson for you so you don’t have to repeat my silly mistakes. Procrastination is not usually one of my vices. I think everyone procrastinates doing things they don’t want to do on occasion. You let the laundry pile up because it is evil and is never, […]
MoreHome For the Holidays We don’t watch movies as a family nearly often enough. Being home for the holidays provides the perfect opportunity. If the kids want to watch something, I usually use that time to pay bills, clean things or perform other glamorous domestic chores. It has only been recently that there are cross-over movies […]
MoreShameless Parent Brag: Thanksgiving Edition Parents who say they don’t brag about their kids are either liars or parents of burgeoning felons. In that spirit, I would like to dedicate this post to my eight year old daughter, Blair.I live in a 100 year old house surrounded by 75 foot tall trees. Our neighborhood is […]
MoreThe Scenario: Teen Loses Cell Phone Eleven year old Rowan would lose her head if it weren’t attached. She has had a rough time transitioning to Middle School. She’s a bright girl who is outgoing and well-balanced. The teachers demand a lot more responsibility and organization in Middle School. Just when I think we are […]
MoreStop Calling My Daughter Attractive A friend of mine and I recently discussed our mutual annoyance with the word “attractive“. We opined that hatred of the word no doubt stems from parental admonitions in our youth to “stop wearing baggy clothing or you won’t be attractive” or “tone down that 80’s mullet. It’s not attractive.” Of […]
MoreLet’s Talk About Sex: Talking To Kids About Sex My 5th Grade daughter’s school sent home a flyer inviting parents to view the video their children will view the following week as the children’s introduction to puberty series. Yeah, baby! I was at the school bright and early the next morning giddy to watch the […]
MoreWhy do we hang on to the slights from other people but forget the compliments? For no reason today, I remembered the words of a friend of mine when we were in college. She called me on the phone about nine o’clock one forgettable night and started the conversation by saying, “Man, there is just […]
MoreYou know how sometimes you find that special store where you go in, look around, make eye contact with the lovely salespeople, and you just know. That’s what it was like visiting the gun store. And then you think, this would be an awesome place to take the kids for a fun outing! You exchange […]
MoreSurviving Middle School I think I would have flunked Middle School if I were going through it now. These 6th Grade Teachers are INTENSE! The emails they send, the hours of homework they assign, the sheer number of details the tweeners are expected to remember is both awesome and daunting. I genuinely cannot read their […]
MoreAre You Waiting for Loufest? You Should Be! What should parents do when their kids are stressed out about the start of school? Abandon them! We are taking a vacation from parenting this weekend. It’s going to be AWESOME. We have a two day pass to Loufest Music Festival and have hired someone to parent our […]
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