AFTERBIRTH: Parenting
Parenting teenagers is exhausting. HostileWit addresses parenting pseudo neuro-typical girls and a son on the autism spectrum with a side of seizure disorder. The children are equal parts maddening and astonishing. Let’s share parenting triumphs and family idiocy together.
Caffeine Pills Scare Me
Caffeine Pills Scare Me: You Take The Red Pill A friend visited me in November last year and left a red caffeine pill at my house. I stored it on the kitchen cabinet shelf with the glasses so I’m reminded of it every time I’m thirsty. I’m a little sensitive to caffeine and not a […]
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Shit I Do Not Need For Mother’s Day Presents
Mother’s Day Presents I hate to make fun of my most favorite store on the planet, Anthropologie, but I’m starting to get the feeling they don’t understand the plight of the American worker. Case in point: these items for sale on their website that would make wonderful Mother’s Day gifts for your special mother. If […]
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Melted Snowman Succumbs To Elements
Melted Snowman Found Dead BREAKING NEWS: (St. Louis, MO) Snow Boy, Snow Girl Couple Declared Dead On a day when Christians remembered the resurrection of Jesus from his cave thingy, the fate of one local St. Louis snow couple was sealed forever when temperatures reached upwards of sixty degrees fahrenheit for several hours. “The sun just […]
MoreOutlook Poor For Melting Snow Couple
UPDATE ON MELTING SNOW COUPLE: (St. Louis, MO) Melting Snow Couple Gasping Last Breaths Concerned neighbors have been upset for the last few days hoping the melting snow couple in their neighbor’s yard will somehow pull through, despite warmer climates expected all this week. “At this point,” Neighbor Nelson advised, “the only thing that could save […]
MoreSlow Death for Melting Snow Man Snow Woman
Outlook Poor for Melting Snow Man Snow Woman (St. Louis, MO) Friends and neighbors of murder victims, Miss America Snow Girl, and Pirate Cop Snow Boy, both age 1 week, were very upset that the melting snow man and snow woman remains of the four foot tall victims have not been properly disposed. “There isn’t […]
MoreNot Reading Permission Slips: Yes To Everything
I said, YES to Everything! Not Reading Permission Slips Transcribed voicemail message I received this morning: “Mrs. McCoy this is Rowan’s band director and I’m looking at the permission slip you signed this morning for Rowan to go to Six Flags with the band, and, uh, I need some clarification. You have all three boxes […]
MoreFeel Good Story For The Day
Feel Good Story My first husband, Dave, had not only good taste in women, but also in acoustic guitars. He played them all the time. My children inherited his beautiful guitars after their father died in 2006. Rowan was four years old. I’ve been saving the guitars, of which there are three, hoping one or […]
MoreBlogging About My Cat
It Has Come To This: I’m Blogging About My Cat What do you blog about when you don’t feel like blogging, the world seems like a place gone mad, and the curve balls all seem to be hitting you in the face? You blog about your CAT! The Bloggess blogs about her cats on a regular […]
MoreWhat’s Your Parenting Style?
Parenting Style What is your parenting style? Which kind of parent are you? Are you permissive or punitive? Are you egalitarian or authoritarian? Are you uncomfortable discussing certain topics with your children? Because I don’t find many topics I’m uncomfortable talking to my kids with. Poor dears. My husband thinks I’m going to make their […]
MoreHow Not To Use a Microwave: Shirt Flambe
Lesson 1 in How Not To Use a Microwave Devlin made his own breakfast this morning: instant oatmeal in the microwave. In the process, he splashed water all over his sleeve. He could have just dealt with the soggy sleeve or put on a new shirt. Then I remembered an instance where my friend, Ann, […]
MoreI’m Getting a Fake Christmas Tree
It’s True. I’m Getting a Fake Christmas Tree I have been holding out on you guys by not blogging about this earlier. My entire life growing up and then as an adult, I have always decorated a real Christmas tree. Real Christmas trees are far superior to fake trees in every way. It’s like buying […]
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