REVELANCE in life is wondering if you matter at all. Are you living an authentic life? Do you make the world a better place, or at least provide comic relief? What’s your connection with others? Do you evolve?
It’s True. I’m Getting a Fake Christmas Tree I have been holding out on you guys by not blogging about this earlier. My entire life growing up and then as an adult, I have always decorated a real Christmas tree. Real Christmas trees are far superior to fake trees in every way. It’s like buying […]
MoreContinued Holiday Season Fun If you missed Holiday Season Fun part 1 and part 2, click the links. 11. Tell your brother and his uptight wife and teenage only child that you are coming to visit with your family of five and don’t give him an end date. He will be grateful to see you and your adorable children under […]
MoreTo catch up, read the first post about making this holiday season fun. Holiday Season Fun continued below: 6. Pay for professional risque family photos to put on your holiday card. Everyone is going to have a pic of their kid in a red and green Christmas sweater or sitting on Santa. Make yours memorable. Make this […]
MoreHoliday Season Fun 1. Give your boss (the one that travels all the time and has allergies) a puppy as a present. Really, just give anyone a puppy for Hanukkah or Christmas. People love gifts with a lifetime of responsibility attached, and it will highlight what good judgment you have. 2. Get totally hammered at […]
MoreThese Things Just Made Me Laugh Today I normally want to ram my bumper into mini-vans that have these personalized family car stickers (double bonus if the family is inside), but I will make an exception for Zombies, because Zombies (which I have elevated to the status of always being capitalized) fucking rock. Also, this […]
MoreEight year old Blair has been surfing the internet on my computer again. The reason I know this is because I have received an alarming barrage of emails from fairysurprises@therealtoothfairies. Fairysurprises is a force with which to be reckoned. Fairy and her evil fairy minions are more tenacious than The Team Obama Tech Geeks sending me 90 […]
MoreShameless Parent Brag: Thanksgiving Edition Parents who say they don’t brag about their kids are either liars or parents of burgeoning felons. In that spirit, I would like to dedicate this post to my eight year old daughter, Blair.I live in a 100 year old house surrounded by 75 foot tall trees. Our neighborhood is […]
MoreIt is clearly Monday. I woke up wondering why sentimental people bug the shit out of me. I haven’t even been assaulted by someone overly perky or cheerful lately. I just woke up in a funk. It’s not the serene person’s fault that they radiate sunshine when they talk. I should embrace their sweet words […]
MoreStrikes Me As Funny I had one of those days recently where everywhere I went, things just struck me as funny. I found funny things in convenience stores, at Sam’s, in public restrooms. You know, places not necessarily known for their humorous surroundings. Proof you can find funny anywhere! Like This: Impenetrable Wall of Beef Jerky […]
MoreBrie Baby Proscuitto Baby Bun Baby Poor Breach Baby Watch Me Baby Artsy Baby Waxy Baby Hand Me The Baby Fancy Chandelier Baby Baby Cakes Octo Baby Where’s The Baby? Riding The Unicorn Baby Rock Me Baby
MoreVolunteers were at the polls to help. We worked for a common goal, regardless of our political persuasion.
MoreI am up at the ass-crack of dawn to fulfill my civic duty today. I volunteered to be a Legal Observer/Challenger in the General Election to be held today, the 6th of November, 2012. My efforts, along with about 500 lawyers in St. Louis, are to ensure that every eligible voter can cast a ballot that counts. […]
MoreYou know that moment you realize that someone you love is crazy? I mean, certifiable, should be in daily counseling or locked in a padded room whacko. You are not alone. This has happened to me recently. You start googling psychological disorders as soon as you leave their presence. Bi-polar Disorder? Not quite on the […]
MoreI feel giddy about this, but yesterday I received my first hate mail on the blog! How awesome is this? whoever wrote this is a total bitch on Hit Me With Your Best Shot And now, one of my favorite quotes: “Good-bye. I’ve always hated you. I’ve always been threatened by you because there’s something about […]
MoreSigns of a Good Party The first couple to show up we have never met (we heard they were cool so we invited them sight unseen). A few guys rip their pearl-snapped shirts open, but button them back before I can get a photo. Someone breaks a champagne flute (it’s not a party until there […]
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