15 Tips To Make This Holiday Season Fun-Part 3
Continued Holiday Season Fun If you missed Holiday Season Fun part 1 and part 2, click the links. 11. Tell your brother and his uptight wife and teenage only child that you are coming to visit with your family of five and don’t give him an end date. He will be grateful to see you and your adorable children under […]
More15 Tips To Make This Holiday Season Fun-Part 2
To catch up, read the first post about making this holiday season fun. Holiday Season Fun continued below: 6. Pay for professional risque family photos to put on your holiday card. Everyone is going to have a pic of their kid in a red and green Christmas sweater or sitting on Santa. Make yours memorable. Make this […]
More15 Tips To Make This Holiday Season Fun- Part 1
Holiday Season Fun 1. Give your boss (the one that travels all the time and has allergies) a puppy as a present. Really, just give anyone a puppy for Hanukkah or Christmas. People love gifts with a lifetime of responsibility attached, and it will highlight what good judgment you have. 2. Get totally hammered at […]
MoreJust Made Me Laugh Today
These Things Just Made Me Laugh Today I normally want to ram my bumper into mini-vans that have these personalized family car stickers (double bonus if the family is inside), but I will make an exception for Zombies, because Zombies (which I have elevated to the status of always being capitalized) fucking rock. Also, this […]
MoreFairies Scare The Shit Out Of Me
Eight year old Blair has been surfing the internet on my computer again. The reason I know this is because I have received an alarming barrage of emails from fairysurprises@therealtoothfairies. Fairysurprises is a force with which to be reckoned. Fairy and her evil fairy minions are more tenacious than The Team Obama Tech Geeks sending me 90 […]
MoreProof Procrastination Never Works
Seriously, Procrastination Never Works Please let me learn this lesson for you so you don’t have to repeat my silly mistakes. Procrastination is not usually one of my vices. I think everyone procrastinates doing things they don’t want to do on occasion. You let the laundry pile up because it is evil and is never, […]
MoreHome For The Holidays: Vegging Out
Home For the Holidays We don’t watch movies as a family nearly often enough. Being home for the holidays provides the perfect opportunity. If the kids want to watch something, I usually use that time to pay bills, clean things or perform other glamorous domestic chores. It has only been recently that there are cross-over movies […]
MoreShameless Parent Brag About Prison Tats
Shameless Parent Brag: Thanksgiving Edition Parents who say they don’t brag about their kids are either liars or parents of burgeoning felons. In that spirit, I would like to dedicate this post to my eight year old daughter, Blair.I live in a 100 year old house surrounded by 75 foot tall trees. Our neighborhood is […]
MoreYou Are Inside My Heart
It is clearly Monday. I woke up wondering why sentimental people bug the shit out of me. I haven’t even been assaulted by someone overly perky or cheerful lately. I just woke up in a funk. It’s not the serene person’s fault that they radiate sunshine when they talk. I should embrace their sweet words […]
MoreEverything Strikes Me As Funny in One Day
Strikes Me As Funny I had one of those days recently where everywhere I went, things just struck me as funny. I found funny things in convenience stores, at Sam’s, in public restrooms. You know, places not necessarily known for their humorous surroundings. Proof you can find funny anywhere! Like This: Impenetrable Wall of Beef Jerky […]
MoreHow To Amuse Yourself At A Couples Baby Shower
Brie Baby Proscuitto Baby Bun Baby Poor Breach Baby Watch Me Baby Artsy Baby Waxy Baby Hand Me The Baby Fancy Chandelier Baby Baby Cakes Octo Baby Where’s The Baby? Riding The Unicorn Baby Rock Me Baby
MoreConfessions of a legal challenger
Volunteers were at the polls to help. We worked for a common goal, regardless of our political persuasion.
MoreGet Your Vote On!
I am up at the ass-crack of dawn to fulfill my civic duty today. I volunteered to be a Legal Observer/Challenger in the General Election to be held today, the 6th of November, 2012. My efforts, along with about 500 lawyers in St. Louis, are to ensure that every eligible voter can cast a ballot that counts. […]
MoreIs It Just Me Or Are People Fucking Crazy?
You know that moment you realize that someone you love is crazy? I mean, certifiable, should be in daily counseling or locked in a padded room whacko. You are not alone. This has happened to me recently. You start googling psychological disorders as soon as you leave their presence. Bi-polar Disorder? Not quite on the […]
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